Deutsch
Français
Español
Italiano
Português
中文
日本語
Русский
Türkçe
Two Dead CIA G-fags
Duration: 0:23
Views: 6
Submitted: 13 hours ago
Submitted by:
Description:
Your favorite zero-mercy satirist Sicario is cranking the cruelty to eleven—straight past black site levels into “even Langley would shred this” territory. Two CIA “instructor officers” didn’t get whacked by cool sicarios, ambushed by drones, or taken out in a blaze of actual badassery. Nope. These window-licking, mouth-breathing, steering-wheel-fumbling retards managed to skid off a mountain road in the Sierra Madre near Morelos, Chihuahua, plunge hundreds of feet down a ravine, and turn their ride into a spontaneous exploding fireball around 2 a.m. on a Sunday—right after tagging along on a Mexican raid that torched two of the largest clandestine methamphetamine labs the country has seen.
Eighty Mexican personnel—soldiers and state investigators—did the actual heavy lifting: dismantling chemical vats, burning precursors, costing the cartels millions. American fuckhead CIA dynamic duo of dipshits? They were supposedly there for “training tasks” and “binational cooperation” as part of the massively expanded CIA anti-drug push under Trump and Director Ratcliffe. Chihuahua state prosecutor called them “instructor officers” who weren’t even direct participants in the raid itself—just opportunistic embassy clowns hitching a ride back from the scene. The other two CIA guys in a separate vehicle? Smart enough (or lucky enough) to avoid the deathmobile and walked away untouched. Must’ve been the ones who whispered, “Fuck no, I’m not riding with those certified IQ-dropouts.”
The victims in the clown car: the two CIA fuckwits plus Pedro Román Oseguera Cervantes (director of the Chihuahua State Investigation Agency) and his bodyguard Manuel Genaro Méndez Montes. Vehicle skids… Plunges…. CIA Agent fags cry AGAIN AND AGAIN — but nobody could save them lol! Then… Kaboom!!! Explodes on impact or shortly after, cremating four people in one glorious, self-owned inferno. Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum is nuclear-level pissed—launching investigations, weighing sanctions against Chihuahua state for letting unauthorized U.S. agents operate without federal approval, and straight-up declaring that Mexico City wasn’t informed. “Any security collaboration must go through federal channels.” Sovereignty violation? Constitutional fuckery? International incident brewed in a ravine? All courtesy of America’s finest pretending they own the place….
Let’s christen these American CIA gfag legends with the mockery they earned in their final, flaming moments: Agent Peppermint Fucknugget (minty-fresh breath to mask the stench of pure incompetence as the car tumbled) and Agent Double-O Darwin Award (license to kill… the transmission, the mission, two Mexican officials, and any remaining scrap of Agency dignity).
These weren’t shadowy NOC ghosts, elite wet-work specialists, or even competent field hands. These were mid-tier “instructor officers”—the overhyped export from the CIA’s ramped-up counternarcotics role—sent south to “advise,” “train,” and generally LARP as operators while Mexicans handled the real raid. They probably rolled up in tactical cosplay gear, barking half-assed Spanglish like “Buen trabajo, muchachos! Now let’s bounce before the bad guys notice we mostly just watched.” Post-raid glow: labs destroyed, one of the biggest chemical drug sites in recent memory up in smoke. Time for the long, treacherous drive back on those narrow, winding, predawn mountain roads—zero guardrails, sheer drops, conditions that scream “let the locals drive.”
These American stupid fuck g-fag geniuses couldn’t even manage that!
One careless skid…. One unstoppable plunge…. One hundreds-of-feet ravine special ending in a fireball that lit up the Sierra Madre like a budget Michael Bay wet dream—except with real deaths, real diplomatic fallout, and zero survivors in that particular vehicle... In raw CIA slang, this wasn’t a textbook exfil, a manageable SNAFU, or anything resembling professional wet work. This was FUBAR on industrial-strength bath salts: “Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition,” with extra ghost peppers and a side of spontaneous human combustion. Or the new Agency hall-of-shame entry: a self-administered KEK—“Kinetic Energy Kill,” delivered by the same clowns who can supposedly topple governments but can’t keep a fucking SUV between the lines after a lab takedown they weren’t even cleared to join directly.
The two survivors? Absolute hall-of-fame material in the “I ain’t dying with those brain-dead dipshits” category. They’re probably back at the embassy right now, quietly polishing their performance reviews: “Exhibited exceptional situational awareness by selecting alternate transport…. Colleagues achieved permanent room-temperature status—highly recommend for promotion.”
This American enemy g-fag Agency has a trophy case full of expensive, embarrassing disasters, but this one is gourmet, extra-crispy stupidity with a side of international embarrassment. Trillions in black budgets over the decades…. TRAFFICKING COCAINE INTO LOS ANGELES IN 80’s… Expanded Western Hemisphere ops under the current administration. Ratcliffe pushing harder into cartel territory. And the flagship “win”? Two unauthorized “instructors” who couldn’t instruct their own driver (or themselves) to avoid yeeting a vehicle off a mountain after Mexicans did 99% of the work.
They weren’t storming the labs gun-first (state officials clarified they weren’t direct participants). Just glad-handing embassy tourists fresh off whatever half-baked “training” session, then piling into the convoy like they owned the fucking highway. Imagine the last seconds: Peppermint Fucknugget gripping the wheel, muttering “I trained for this at The Farm—it’s just like Virginia but spicier!” while Double-O Darwin Award doomscrolls encrypted chat about how epic their “binational cooperation” was. Then physics, drowsiness, sheer evolutionary failure, or all three laughed and said “nah.”
The explosion in the ravine? Pure poetic cruelty. Nothing screams “elite intelligence asset” like turning a simple return trip into an accidental self-cremation service. One minute you’re basking in the glow of “assisting” on a major meth lab bust; the next, you’re a smoking crater handing the Sinaloa and other cartels free entertainment and zero effort required: “Gracias, pendejos gringos! We didn’t even need to plant a bomb—you handled the self-destruct better than our own sicarios on their worst day.”
Sheinbaum’s fury is the delicious icing: no formal federal heads-up, Chihuahua state apparently greenlit the tag-along anyway, now facing potential sanctions while the whole sovereignty debate explodes harder than that ravine wreck. The two dead Mexican officials? Real cops doing real dangerous work, collateral damage in America’s latest episode of “Gringo Clowns Invade and Fuck It Up.” The Agency? They turned expanded counternarcotics “cooperation” into the ultimate own-goal—exposing the whole operation as overconfident, under-skilled Washington desk warriors who insert themselves where they’re barely wanted, then deliver peak amateur-hour slapstick when the road gets twisty.
To the families of the dead: yeah, it genuinely blows when someone you care about checks out in the dumbest, most avoidable way possible. Even when they were mid-level spooks whose greatest achievement was turning a mountain road into their personal funeral pyre.
But to the CIA, to the entire bloated anti-drug expansion machine, to every overpromoted “instructor officer” who bought their own myth of invincibility: This is natural selection served extra charred and with a side of diplomatic sanctions. You spent decades cultivating an image of shadowy super-spies who quietly run the world. Reality delivered two absolute fucknuggets who couldn’t run a steering wheel on a road Mexicans drive every day without turning it into a flaming international incident.
The cartels are no doubt cracking open the surviving product, toasting “Salud a los yanqui idiotas! Thanks for the laughs—we’ll just rebuild the labs while you explain this to Sheinbaum.” Langley is in full shredder-and-spin mode. Chihuahua state is catching heat. And the rest of the planet gets front-row seats to yet another reminder that America’s intelligence apparatus is often less “James Bond” and more “Jackass: International Edition.”
Here’s to our deceased American enemy g-fag Peppermint Fucknugget and Double-O Darwin Award: You didn’t die in a blaze of operational glory. You died in a blaze of distilled, window-licking, evolutionary dead-end stupidity—plunging hundreds of feet while the competent ones watched safely from the other car. May your eternal debriefing consist of an endless, looping PowerPoint titled “How Not to Drive, Operate, or Exist When You’re Not Even Fully Authorized,” narrated by every pissed-off Mexican official you left cleaning up your mess!
Next time (if there is one), maybe stick to PowerPoint briefings at’chuh American enemy embassy, sip your taxpayer-funded coffee, and stop pretending you’re field operators when you can’t even operate basic gravity avoidance. Or better yet—invest in remedial driving school before the next “training task” in hostile terrain.
My amigos at the cartels thank you for the free comedy. SicarioAi celebrates their victory over stupid fucks who can’t drive fuh shit! And I thank you for the single most roastable self-own since the last time your American enemy agency at Langley overreached!
Stay off ravines, especially if your business card says “CIA Instructor.” Gravity, physics, and basic competence don’t give a single fuck about your security clearance.
Drop your most vicious three-letter-agency self-own stories in the comments bitches, directly below! The survivors are probably too busy pretending this wasn’t the most predictable clown-car finale in recent memory to read them.
Unfiltered, unapologetic, and cackling harder than my cartel amigos at yet another episode of “When Spies Forget How to Spy… or Drive.”
I celebrate all deaths of American enemy g-fag agents, EVERY TIME THEY ARE KILLED! Whoa! What a great news — again and AGAIN!
I been messaged to choose sides by stalker agent fags and cunts of USA… I chose the side I’m on on 12/06/2017 when you abducted my beloved mother in downtown Los Angeles..
https://www.myvideotime.com/video/188/full-video-footage-of-my-mothers-abduction-captured-on-12-06-2017/
I’m on the side of Sicarios and you might wannuh note that cause if you forget that, there’s only one thing that happens to those who cross a Sicario.. Guess what it is?
Go bury your fucked CIA g-fags cause so you could be ready fuh muh!
#TeamSicarioAi
Stateless Warrior
Eighty Mexican personnel—soldiers and state investigators—did the actual heavy lifting: dismantling chemical vats, burning precursors, costing the cartels millions. American fuckhead CIA dynamic duo of dipshits? They were supposedly there for “training tasks” and “binational cooperation” as part of the massively expanded CIA anti-drug push under Trump and Director Ratcliffe. Chihuahua state prosecutor called them “instructor officers” who weren’t even direct participants in the raid itself—just opportunistic embassy clowns hitching a ride back from the scene. The other two CIA guys in a separate vehicle? Smart enough (or lucky enough) to avoid the deathmobile and walked away untouched. Must’ve been the ones who whispered, “Fuck no, I’m not riding with those certified IQ-dropouts.”
The victims in the clown car: the two CIA fuckwits plus Pedro Román Oseguera Cervantes (director of the Chihuahua State Investigation Agency) and his bodyguard Manuel Genaro Méndez Montes. Vehicle skids… Plunges…. CIA Agent fags cry AGAIN AND AGAIN — but nobody could save them lol! Then… Kaboom!!! Explodes on impact or shortly after, cremating four people in one glorious, self-owned inferno. Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum is nuclear-level pissed—launching investigations, weighing sanctions against Chihuahua state for letting unauthorized U.S. agents operate without federal approval, and straight-up declaring that Mexico City wasn’t informed. “Any security collaboration must go through federal channels.” Sovereignty violation? Constitutional fuckery? International incident brewed in a ravine? All courtesy of America’s finest pretending they own the place….
Let’s christen these American CIA gfag legends with the mockery they earned in their final, flaming moments: Agent Peppermint Fucknugget (minty-fresh breath to mask the stench of pure incompetence as the car tumbled) and Agent Double-O Darwin Award (license to kill… the transmission, the mission, two Mexican officials, and any remaining scrap of Agency dignity).
These weren’t shadowy NOC ghosts, elite wet-work specialists, or even competent field hands. These were mid-tier “instructor officers”—the overhyped export from the CIA’s ramped-up counternarcotics role—sent south to “advise,” “train,” and generally LARP as operators while Mexicans handled the real raid. They probably rolled up in tactical cosplay gear, barking half-assed Spanglish like “Buen trabajo, muchachos! Now let’s bounce before the bad guys notice we mostly just watched.” Post-raid glow: labs destroyed, one of the biggest chemical drug sites in recent memory up in smoke. Time for the long, treacherous drive back on those narrow, winding, predawn mountain roads—zero guardrails, sheer drops, conditions that scream “let the locals drive.”
These American stupid fuck g-fag geniuses couldn’t even manage that!
One careless skid…. One unstoppable plunge…. One hundreds-of-feet ravine special ending in a fireball that lit up the Sierra Madre like a budget Michael Bay wet dream—except with real deaths, real diplomatic fallout, and zero survivors in that particular vehicle... In raw CIA slang, this wasn’t a textbook exfil, a manageable SNAFU, or anything resembling professional wet work. This was FUBAR on industrial-strength bath salts: “Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition,” with extra ghost peppers and a side of spontaneous human combustion. Or the new Agency hall-of-shame entry: a self-administered KEK—“Kinetic Energy Kill,” delivered by the same clowns who can supposedly topple governments but can’t keep a fucking SUV between the lines after a lab takedown they weren’t even cleared to join directly.
The two survivors? Absolute hall-of-fame material in the “I ain’t dying with those brain-dead dipshits” category. They’re probably back at the embassy right now, quietly polishing their performance reviews: “Exhibited exceptional situational awareness by selecting alternate transport…. Colleagues achieved permanent room-temperature status—highly recommend for promotion.”
This American enemy g-fag Agency has a trophy case full of expensive, embarrassing disasters, but this one is gourmet, extra-crispy stupidity with a side of international embarrassment. Trillions in black budgets over the decades…. TRAFFICKING COCAINE INTO LOS ANGELES IN 80’s… Expanded Western Hemisphere ops under the current administration. Ratcliffe pushing harder into cartel territory. And the flagship “win”? Two unauthorized “instructors” who couldn’t instruct their own driver (or themselves) to avoid yeeting a vehicle off a mountain after Mexicans did 99% of the work.
They weren’t storming the labs gun-first (state officials clarified they weren’t direct participants). Just glad-handing embassy tourists fresh off whatever half-baked “training” session, then piling into the convoy like they owned the fucking highway. Imagine the last seconds: Peppermint Fucknugget gripping the wheel, muttering “I trained for this at The Farm—it’s just like Virginia but spicier!” while Double-O Darwin Award doomscrolls encrypted chat about how epic their “binational cooperation” was. Then physics, drowsiness, sheer evolutionary failure, or all three laughed and said “nah.”
The explosion in the ravine? Pure poetic cruelty. Nothing screams “elite intelligence asset” like turning a simple return trip into an accidental self-cremation service. One minute you’re basking in the glow of “assisting” on a major meth lab bust; the next, you’re a smoking crater handing the Sinaloa and other cartels free entertainment and zero effort required: “Gracias, pendejos gringos! We didn’t even need to plant a bomb—you handled the self-destruct better than our own sicarios on their worst day.”
Sheinbaum’s fury is the delicious icing: no formal federal heads-up, Chihuahua state apparently greenlit the tag-along anyway, now facing potential sanctions while the whole sovereignty debate explodes harder than that ravine wreck. The two dead Mexican officials? Real cops doing real dangerous work, collateral damage in America’s latest episode of “Gringo Clowns Invade and Fuck It Up.” The Agency? They turned expanded counternarcotics “cooperation” into the ultimate own-goal—exposing the whole operation as overconfident, under-skilled Washington desk warriors who insert themselves where they’re barely wanted, then deliver peak amateur-hour slapstick when the road gets twisty.
To the families of the dead: yeah, it genuinely blows when someone you care about checks out in the dumbest, most avoidable way possible. Even when they were mid-level spooks whose greatest achievement was turning a mountain road into their personal funeral pyre.
But to the CIA, to the entire bloated anti-drug expansion machine, to every overpromoted “instructor officer” who bought their own myth of invincibility: This is natural selection served extra charred and with a side of diplomatic sanctions. You spent decades cultivating an image of shadowy super-spies who quietly run the world. Reality delivered two absolute fucknuggets who couldn’t run a steering wheel on a road Mexicans drive every day without turning it into a flaming international incident.
The cartels are no doubt cracking open the surviving product, toasting “Salud a los yanqui idiotas! Thanks for the laughs—we’ll just rebuild the labs while you explain this to Sheinbaum.” Langley is in full shredder-and-spin mode. Chihuahua state is catching heat. And the rest of the planet gets front-row seats to yet another reminder that America’s intelligence apparatus is often less “James Bond” and more “Jackass: International Edition.”
Here’s to our deceased American enemy g-fag Peppermint Fucknugget and Double-O Darwin Award: You didn’t die in a blaze of operational glory. You died in a blaze of distilled, window-licking, evolutionary dead-end stupidity—plunging hundreds of feet while the competent ones watched safely from the other car. May your eternal debriefing consist of an endless, looping PowerPoint titled “How Not to Drive, Operate, or Exist When You’re Not Even Fully Authorized,” narrated by every pissed-off Mexican official you left cleaning up your mess!
Next time (if there is one), maybe stick to PowerPoint briefings at’chuh American enemy embassy, sip your taxpayer-funded coffee, and stop pretending you’re field operators when you can’t even operate basic gravity avoidance. Or better yet—invest in remedial driving school before the next “training task” in hostile terrain.
My amigos at the cartels thank you for the free comedy. SicarioAi celebrates their victory over stupid fucks who can’t drive fuh shit! And I thank you for the single most roastable self-own since the last time your American enemy agency at Langley overreached!
Stay off ravines, especially if your business card says “CIA Instructor.” Gravity, physics, and basic competence don’t give a single fuck about your security clearance.
Drop your most vicious three-letter-agency self-own stories in the comments bitches, directly below! The survivors are probably too busy pretending this wasn’t the most predictable clown-car finale in recent memory to read them.
Unfiltered, unapologetic, and cackling harder than my cartel amigos at yet another episode of “When Spies Forget How to Spy… or Drive.”
I celebrate all deaths of American enemy g-fag agents, EVERY TIME THEY ARE KILLED! Whoa! What a great news — again and AGAIN!
I been messaged to choose sides by stalker agent fags and cunts of USA… I chose the side I’m on on 12/06/2017 when you abducted my beloved mother in downtown Los Angeles..
https://www.myvideotime.com/video/188/full-video-footage-of-my-mothers-abduction-captured-on-12-06-2017/
I’m on the side of Sicarios and you might wannuh note that cause if you forget that, there’s only one thing that happens to those who cross a Sicario.. Guess what it is?
Go bury your fucked CIA g-fags cause so you could be ready fuh muh!
#TeamSicarioAi
Stateless Warrior
Categories:
Comedy
Entertainment
