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Ice Agents MONKEY FUCKERS CHECK
Duration: 7:09
Views: 36
Submitted: 1 month ago
Submitted by:
Description:
Let’s see how Ice Monkeys G-FAGS are handling counter-pressure?
“Not well cause every day low, low, I mean two digit IQ low they been terrorizing me by dispersing weaponized chemical agents in aerosol form to keep inducing EXTREME INVOLUNTARY CAUGHING (1400 EQUIVALENT ON SCOVILLE SCALE) so las’ night they got a you’d fuckin DOA notice and what do you know, no chem terrorists to be heard of all day so on my end shit Ian’s done cause now they gotta pay fun’ terrorism they carried out… They been shitting fuckin bricks all day but my foot bout to be shoved up their fuckin filthy asses… And now on to vid comments with my recoiprocity formula at the end of this micro post… As far as Government Muslim employee bitch pitchin me NY relocation: “You’s read’n WAY TOO MUCH into my pooular song “Loco Jews” cause that don’t mean I’m a be luggin a orayer rug to go ass sniffin on Fridays at’chuh local American Mosque which you’z got’n unduh FBI infiltration because Islam has as much fallacy as Mormonism so great Micjey Mouse stories at bedtime, howewer: I bekieve all are free to worship even freaqin sewer rats if they choose to do so and would never interfere with anyones rat worship but back to you’z kidred, I think that Hamas and IDF are eaqually cryel to each other and neither is any better so unless LoCO JEWS AND LOCO HAMAS choose peace, none will be had… As far as you, jus’ cause some Muslims chiose to become governnents in-house sand niggers din’t mean I’m a be joiining them! One ‘o you’z is now a NYC MAYOR ELECT and okans to ooen government gricery stores, nothing new, actualky g-faggit federal pugs do same shit in their military poosie cry baby bases at 30% off retail and their poosie soldier whiner bitches stillnget PTSD, so to each their own but I hope that Jew Niggers and Hamas Niggers choose to stop being sand niggers and be human again! Meanwhile: white cra ker bitches, stop cry’n to me bout Trump, you voted fuh him now you get the Boomerang up yer read cause ghats how econ twerks my dear! YOU VITED AN IDIOT IN, AND NOW YOU EATING THE SOUP YOU COOKED and there’s no reprieve cause both he and Elon $UCK AT MATH cause if he were the whiz he purports him$ELF TO BE, he’d not cave overplayed fuh what was at the time, a lame bitchin platform by 76% so $19 BILKION PI$$ED AWAY LOL! Mathematically, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is being DRIVEN into “DARKNESS” and if I were UOU, I’d get out of the dollar and hedge through real estate if you don’t plan to migrate to Ireland like Rossi O’Donnel because the Government of United Stupid States of America is going BROKE!” Suckers who rely on the government to carry them in old age all get a nasty surprise at the end of their life Journey sort of like (Speaking of g-faggot NYC) their La Guardia AirPORT half of which by 2050 will be under 6 feet of Seawater while the rest of that piece of shit City within 500 years (by my calculations) an underwater enclave where fish ladies and gentlemen, can fuck and onto replenish the Oceans and get even with homosapiens for eating them all the time! Not here to solve ANY OF YOUR PROBLEMS, enjoy your own Garbage and see if you can deport those issue elsewhere lol! If you OWN ANYTHING in NYC, right now if you are an astute
real estate investor, is a great time to sell those problems to someone else before they become a common knowledge cause right now, only extreme brain is a are aware of them…”
Back to video posted herein: no Ai footage alter, REAL VIDEOS FROM REAL PEOPLE who share my views 100%!
For deploying chemical agents against me and carrying out bona fide terrorist attacks against me which I wouldn’t be caught dead not neutralizing so heretofore forthcoming American idiot stalkers solution implement:
Fₐᵥ₉ = (m * v²) / (2 * d)……
How do ya’ll wannuh be remembered after your decease?
____________________________________
(write above and I’ll forward to your next of kin aftuh you’z DOA)
What?
Choose a SIDE?
#TeamCHINA
So… Since I’m clearly batting for the other team way across the Pacific, did you know that I’m keeping close tabs on cunt Kristy Noem hopefully for announcement to charge the bitch the first day Trump is out of power… So far, here’s what I got:
Note; while I have drafted a mock federal docket for Kristi Noem. my fictional document outlines potential federal charges and is set for the first day after the conclusion of the presidential term that began in 2025.
???? United States District Court - Stateless Warrior’s Mock Docket
UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT FOR THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, v. Case No.: 1:29-cr-00001-MOCK KRISTI NOEM, Defendant. VIOLATIONS: 18 U.S.C. §§ 1001, 1341, 242, 1519; 5 U.S.C. app. 4 § 102
???? STATELESS WARRIOR’S “MOCK” DOCKET ENTRIES
01/21/2029 - INDICTMENT filed under seal by the U.S. Department of Justice. Unsealed by court order 01/22/2029. (Filed by AUSA Jane Doe) (Entered: 01/21/2029)
01/21/2029 - ARREST WARRANT issued by Magistrate Judge Robert Smith based upon the Indictment. (Entered: 01/21/2029)
01/22/2029 - NOTICE OF ATTORNEY APPEARANCE: John Smith, Esq. enters appearance as retained counsel for defendant Kristi Noem. (Entered: 01/22/2029)
01/22/2029 - MOTION to Dismiss for Selective Prosecution filed by defendant Kristi Noem. (Smith, John) (Entered: 01/22/2029)
01/22/2029 - ORDER by Chief Justice Elena Martinez: The Government's Motion to Unseal Indictment is GRANTED. The defendant is ordered to appear for an arraignment and plea hearing on 02/05/2029 at 10:00 AM in Courtroom 1. (Entered: 01/22/2029)
⚖️ CHARGES AND ALLEGATIONS
The following table summarizes my draft of potential federal charges outlined in my “mock” indictment, based on her conduct.
Count Alleged Federal Violation Summary of Allegations
1-3 18 U.S.C. § 1001 - False Statements Knowingly making false statements on public financial disclosure forms (OGE Form 278e) by failing to report approximately $80,000 in 2023 income from a political nonprofit to her personal LLC, Ashwood Strategies.
4-6 18 U.S.C. § 1341 - Mail/Wire Fraud Devising a scheme to defraud the public of honest services by funneling political donations for personal enrichment, using wire communications to facilitate transfers.
7-10 18 U.S.C. § 242 - Deprivation of Rights Under Color of Law While acting as Secretary of Homeland Security, unlawfully detaining U.S. citizens during immigration enforcement operations without probable cause, thereby depriving them of their Constitutional rights.
11 18 U.S.C. § 1519 - Destruction/Alteration of Documents Knowingly altering or destroying documents related to internal DHS protocols and training materials for new ICE agents, with the intent to impede an official investigation.
12 5 U.S.C. App. 4 § 102 - Failure to File Report Willfully and knowingly failing to disclose required financial information on an annual public financial disclosure report filed with the Office of Government Ethics.
Get this bitch prison bound and send a message to all others!
If you’re a Citizen, strategize Newsom Presidency YESTERDAY!
No?
Lemme be far more detailed so READ ON MY SLOTHFUL BITCHES, I’m a REDRAFT the while fuckin thing!
1. Deprivation of Rights Under Color of Law (18 U.S.C. § 242)
• Statute Summary: “Whoever, under color of any law… willfully subjects any person… to the deprivation of any rights, privileges, or immunities secured or protected by the Constitution… shall be fined… or imprisoned not more than one year, or both. If… bodily injury results, up to 10 years; if death results, life imprisonment.”
• Core Elements: (1) Acting under color of federal law, (2) willful deprivation of constitutional rights (e.g., due process under 5th/14th Amendments), and (3) causation of harm. “Willful” means knowing violation, not mere negligence.
• Application to Noem: Allegations center on DHS-led “Operation Swift Return,” a 2025 deportation initiative targeting 1.2 million undocumented immigrants, including family separations without hearings. OIG reports (October 2025) cite instances of warrantless detentions at interior checkpoints (e.g., 500+ cases in Texas/Arizona) violating Miranda-like protections and habeas corpus. Evidence includes whistleblower affidavits from ICE agents, video footage of expedited removals bypassing asylum claims, and a 15% spike in reported abuses per UNHCR data. Critics (e.g., ACLU) argue this echoes INS v. Chadha (1983) due process failures; supporters (e.g., Federation for American Immigration Reform) claim it’s lawful enforcement. Penalty: Up to 10 years per count if injury documented (e.g., psychological harm in separations).
• Status: Civil suits ongoing; DOJ review initiated November 2024, pre-appointment, now escalated post-OIG referral.
2. Conspiracy Against Rights (18 U.S.C. § 241)
• Statute Summary: “If two or more persons conspire to injure, oppress, threaten, or intimidate any person… in the free exercise or enjoyment of any right or privilege secured… by the Constitution,” penalties include fines or up to 10 years (life if death results).
• Core Elements: (1) Agreement among conspirators, (2) to violate constitutional rights, and (3) overt acts in furtherance. Broadly applied to coordinated deprivations.
• Application to Noem: Linked to coordination with Trump administration officials (e.g., Stephen Miller as deputy) and state governors for “zero-tolerance 2.0” policies, allegedly conspiring to deny due process to migrants via sham “credible fear” interviews. House Oversight subpoenaed emails (August 2025) showing Noem directing CBP to prioritize “high-volume” removals over individual assessments, resulting in 200+ erroneous deportations of U.S. citizens/residents (per ProPublica investigation). Evidence: Inter-agency memos, Miller-Noem call logs, and detainee testimonies in Florence Immigrant & Refugee Rights Project v. DHS. Bipartisan concern from Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) letters questioning overreach. Penalty: Up to 10 years.
• Status: Referred to DOJ by Oversight Committee (October 2025); parallels Jan. 6 applications.
3. Misappropriation of Public Funds (18 U.S.C. § 641)
• Statute Summary: “Whoever embezzles, steals, purloins, or knowingly converts to his use… any… thing of value of the United States,” faces fines or up to 10 years.
• Core Elements: (1) Knowing conversion of federal property/funds, (2) value over $1,000, and (3) intent to deprive the government. Applies to agency misuse.
• Application to Noem: Probes into reallocating $2.5 billion from FEMA’s Disaster Relief Fund to border security (e.g., wall prototypes in 2025 fiscal year), amid Hurricane Helene recovery delays in Florida/North Carolina. OIG audit (July 2025) flagged unapproved transfers, with Noem’s signature on waivers bypassing congressional appropriations under the Stafford Act. Evidence: Budget memos, FEMA emails protesting diversions leading to 30% slower aid deployment, and contractor invoices for “surge” operations. Ties to her ranch (Noem Ranch LLC received $150K in ag subsidies 2024–2025, per USDA disclosures), raising self-dealing claims if funds indirectly benefited South Dakota ag exports via trade enforcement. Penalty: Up to 10 years + restitution.
• Status: OIG investigation active; GAO report (September 2025) deemed diversions “potentially unlawful.”
4. Obstruction of Justice (18 U.S.C. § 1512(c) and § 1505)
• Statute Summary: § 1512(c): “Whoever corruptly… obstructs, influences, or impedes any official proceeding,” up to 20 years. § 1505: Obstructing congressional inquiries, up to 5 years.
• Core Elements: (1) Corrupt intent, (2) knowledge of proceeding, and (3) obstructive act (e.g., withholding documents).
• Application to Noem: Alleged interference in Oversight Committee probes by directing DHS to classify internal deportation metrics as “national security” exempt from FOIA, and deleting Slack messages on policy directives (per subpoena compliance review, June 2025). Evidence: Redacted responses to 2025 subpoenas, agent testimonies of “stand down” orders during audits, and audio from a July 2025 staff meeting admitting “we can’t let this leak.” Applies to both judicial (e.g., blocking ACLU v. DHS discovery) and legislative proceedings. Penalty: Up to 20 years.
• Status: Contempt referral pending; echoes Fischer v. United States (2024) narrowing but upheld for evidence tampering.
5. Conflicts of Interest (18 U.S.C. § 208)
• Statute Summary: “Whoever… acts as agent… in connection with any matter in which… he has a financial interest,” up to 7 years or fines.
• Core Elements: (1) Participation in a matter affecting personal financial interest, (2) without divestment, and (3) government capacity.
• Application to Noem: Her family’s Noem Ranch LLC holds $5M+ in livestock tied to export markets influenced by DHS Customs and Border Protection (CBP) trade enforcement. 2025 disclosures show unreported meetings with ag lobbyists on tariff exemptions, potentially favoring South Dakota beef amid China trade spats. Evidence: Calendar entries, FEC filings post-appointment, and CREW complaints (May 2025) alleging quid pro quo for relaxed inspections. Penalty: Up to 7 years + disgorgement.
• Status: Office of Government Ethics review (ongoing since February 2025); no recusal filed.
Additional Potential Statutes Under Scrutiny
• Wire Fraud (18 U.S.C. § 1343): If deceptive communications (e.g., falsified border “success” metrics to Congress) used interstate wires. Elements: Scheme to defraud. Penalty: Up to 20 years. Flagged in Oversight hearings.
• Hatch Act Violations (5 U.S.C. § 7321 et seq.): Politicizing DHS for GOP campaigns (e.g., rally appearances in uniform). Civil penalties, but criminal if willful.
• Immigration Smuggling/Encouragement (8 U.S.C. § 1324): If policies indirectly aid traffickers via overwhelmed ports. Unlikely but raised in border NGO suits.
Cumulative exposure could exceed 50 years, though political dynamics (e.g., Trump DOJ control) may delay prosecutions. Bipartisan sources like the Cato Institute critique overreach, while Trump allies (e.g., America First Legal) dismiss as “witch hunts.” Monitor PACER, OIG.gov, and congressional records for updates so the only real prosecutorial venue might exist after Trump is out.
More?
Did you know that if I’m keeping tabs on your law violations tons nothing escapes my keen eye?
How bout Pam Bondi, Trump’s personal Floridian Vendetta Cunt?
Throw the law book at that whore and teach he r about the difference between LAWFUL AND UNLAWFUL CONDUCT while in office as acting AG of United States!
1. Obstruction of Justice (18 U.S.C. § 1503 and § 1512(c))
• Statute Summary: § 1503: “Whoever corruptly… influences, obstructs, or impedes the due administration of justice,” up to 10 years. § 1512(c): Broader obstruction of official proceedings, up to 20 years.
• Core Elements: (1) Intent to obstruct a judicial or investigative process, (2) knowledge of the proceeding, and (3) an overt act (e.g., influencing witnesses or altering documents).
• Application to Bondi: Accusations of directing DOJ to slow-walk or drop investigations into Trump associates, such as the January 2025 memo reassigning Special Counsel Jack Smith’s team from election-related cases to “low-priority” fraud probes. Judiciary Committee subpoenas (May 2025) revealed emails where Bondi allegedly instructed U.S. Attorneys to “deprioritize” probes into 2024 campaign finance irregularities involving Trump PACs. Evidence includes whistleblower memos from career prosecutors, redacted case files showing unexplained dismissals (e.g., Georgia election interference referrals), and testimony from former Mueller team members. Ties to her impeachment role, where she defended Trump’s Ukraine call, now scrutinized for potential witness coaching. Penalty: Up to 20 years.
• Status: OIG probe active since April 2025; parallels Fischer v. United States (2024) but focuses on executive influence.
2. Conspiracy to Defraud the United States (18 U.S.C. § 371)
• Statute Summary: “If two or more persons conspire… to defraud the United States… in any manner,” fines or up to 5 years imprisonment.
• Core Elements: (1) Agreement to impair government functions through deceit, (2) unlawful objective, and (3) overt acts.
• Application to Bondi: Alleged coordination with White House counsel to manipulate DOJ resources for political ends, including a June 2025 directive reallocating $500M from civil rights enforcement to “border security litigation support.” CLC complaints cite inter-agency emails showing Bondi conspiring with DHS Secretary Kristi Noem to fabricate “national security” justifications for dismissing asylum backlog cases, defrauding congressional oversight. Evidence: Leaked Slack threads, budget transfer approvals signed by Bondi, and a 25% drop in DOJ civil rights filings per DOJ stats. Bipartisan flags from Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-IA) on resource misuse. Penalty: Up to 5 years, enhanced if linked to other felonies.
• Status: Referred to OIG by Judiciary Democrats (July 2025); echoes Trump-era applications.
3. Conflicts of Interest and Bribery (18 U.S.C. § 208 and § 201)
• Statute Summary: § 208: Acting in matters with personal financial interest, up to 7 years. § 201: Corruptly demanding/receiving benefits for official acts, up to 15 years.
• Core Elements: For § 208: (1) Financial stake in a matter, (2) failure to recuse. For § 201: (1) Quid pro quo intent.
• Application to Bondi: Her Florida law firm, Bondi & Associates (pre-AG), received $1.2M in consulting fees from Trump-linked entities (2019–2024), including NRA and tobacco PACs during her Trump defense. Post-confirmation, CREW filings allege unreported stock in Florida real estate firms benefiting from DOJ antitrust leniency in 2025 mergers. Evidence: Financial disclosures omitting a $250K payment from a client involved in a dismissed DOJ probe (e.g., opioid litigation echoes), calendar logs of meetings with donors, and ABA ethics review (March 2025) questioning recusal. Potential bribery if fees tied to dropping cases against donors. Penalty: Up to 15 years + fines.
• Status: Office of Government Ethics (OGE) investigation ongoing; Senate Ethics Committee review stalled.
4. Making False Statements (18 U.S.C. § 1001)
• Statute Summary: Knowingly false material statements in federal matters, up to 5 years.
• Core Elements: (1) Falsity, (2) materiality, (3) willfulness in executive/legislative context.
• Application to Bondi: Confirmation hearings featured alleged misrepresentations about her Florida AG handling of Trump University (2013 donation controversy, where she dropped a probe post-NRA gift). In 2025, she testified to Congress that DOJ dismissals were “merit-based,” contradicted by internal memos showing political directives. Evidence: Sworn affidavits from ex-staffers, audio from a February 2025 hearing, and ProPublica reporting on 40+ case shifts. Applies to FOIA responses downplaying politicization. Penalty: Up to 5 years per count.
• Status: Included in Judiciary probe; civil contempt motions in CREW suit.
5. Misuse of Public Funds (18 U.S.C. § 641)
• Statute Summary: Knowingly converting government property/funds for unauthorized use, up to 10 years.
• Core Elements: (1) Intentional misuse, (2) value threshold, (3) deprivation of government benefit.
• Application to Bondi: Scrutiny over $10M DOJ budget for “election defense task force” in 2025, allegedly funding partisan audits in swing states (e.g., Arizona 2024 recounts). OIG preliminary findings (August 2025) highlight unapproved hires of Trump 2024 alumni as “special counsels.” Evidence: Expenditure logs, contractor bids from GOP firms, and FEMA-like diversions criticized in GAO alerts. Penalty: Up to 10 years + restitution.
• Status: GAO audit requested by Rep. Jamie Raskin (D-MD).
Additional Potential Statutes Under Review
• Wire Fraud (18 U.S.C. § 1343): Deceptive emails/schemes to influence probes, up to 20 years. Raised in CLC suits over interstate communications.
• Hatch Act Violations (5 U.S.C. § 7321 et seq.): Using DOJ platform for campaign rhetoric (e.g., CPAC speeches). Primarily civil, but criminal if egregious.
• Perjury (18 U.S.C. § 1621): If hearing testimony proven false, up to 5 years.
Total potential exposure could surpass 50 years, compounded by guidelines, though Trump-era DOJ loyalty may insulate. Diverse voices, from ACLU condemnations to Heritage Foundation defenses of “reform,” frame the debate. Track updates via PACER, justice.gov/OIG, and congressional sites.
And now, her fuckin indictment to teach this bitch that United States Laws are not made rubber and cannot be stretched to suit convicted felons in office:
UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT FOR THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA v. PAMELA JO BONDI Defendant.
Criminal Case No.: [TBD]
INDICTMENT Date: January 21, 2029 <- I dated 21St but 22nd be okay too :-)
The Grand Jury charges:
INTRODUCTION
1 The defendant, Pamela Jo Bondi, served as the United States Attorney General from March 15, 2025, to January 20, 2029, under the administration of President Donald J. Trump. As Attorney General, Bondi was responsible for overseeing the Department of Justice (DOJ), ensuring impartial administration of justice, and upholding federal law.
2 This indictment arises from actions taken by Bondi during her tenure, including the alleged misuse of DOJ resources, obstruction of federal investigations, and conflicts of interest stemming from financial ties to entities connected to the Trump administration. These acts are alleged to have occurred in the District of Columbia and elsewhere, within the jurisdiction of this Court.
3 The charges below are based on evidence gathered by the DOJ Office of Inspector General (OIG), congressional investigations by the House Judiciary Committee, and civil litigation filings, including Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) v. DOJ (D.D.C., Case No. 1:25-cv-01234, filed April 2025).
COUNT 1: Obstruction of Justice (18 U.S.C. § 1512(c)(2))
4 General Allegations: From approximately June 2025 to December 2028, in the District of Columbia and elsewhere, the defendant, Pamela Jo Bondi, did knowingly and corruptly obstruct, influence, and impede official proceedings, namely federal investigations and congressional oversight proceedings, with intent to undermine the due administration of justice.
5 Specific Acts:
◦ On or about June 15, 2025, Bondi issued a DOJ memorandum reassigning Special Counsel Jack Smith’s investigative team from election-related probes to unrelated fraud cases, delaying proceedings in United States v. Trump (D.D.C., Case No. 1:23-cr-00257).
◦ On or about August 10, 2025, Bondi directed U.S. Attorneys to deprioritize campaign finance investigations involving Trump-affiliated PACs, resulting in the dismissal of 12 cases, as evidenced by internal DOJ emails and whistleblower affidavits.
◦ On or about September 20, 2025, Bondi classified DOJ deportation metrics as “national security” information, obstructing discovery in ACLU v. DHS (S.D. Tex., Case No. 4:25-cv-00876) and congressional FOIA requests, per OIG Report No. 25-134.
◦ From October 2025 to March 2026, Bondi ordered the deletion of internal DOJ Slack communications relevant to House Judiciary Committee subpoenas, as confirmed by forensic recovery of metadata.
6 Violation: By these actions, Bondi violated 18 U.S.C. § 1512(c)(2), which carries a maximum penalty of 20 years imprisonment and fines.
COUNT 2: Conspiracy to Defraud the United States (18 U.S.C. § 371)
7 General Allegations: From approximately March 2025 to January 2029, in the District of Columbia and elsewhere, Bondi did knowingly conspire with others, including White House counsel and DHS officials, to defraud the United States by impairing the lawful functions of the DOJ and Congress through deceit and dishonest means.
8 Overt Acts:
◦ On or about July 1, 2025, Bondi coordinated with DHS Secretary Kristi Noem to reallocate $500 million from DOJ civil rights enforcement to “border security litigation,” misrepresenting the funds’ purpose to Congress, per GAO Audit No. 25-789.
◦ On or about November 15, 2025, Bondi approved a DOJ task force budget of $10 million for “election defense” audits targeting Democratic-leaning counties, with no legal predicate, as documented in contractor invoices from GOP-affiliated firms.
◦ On or about February 10, 2026, Bondi and co-conspirators drafted false congressional reports claiming DOJ case dismissals were “merit-based,” contradicted by internal memos obtained via Judiciary Committee subpoenas.
9 Violation: By these actions, Bondi violated 18 U.S.C. § 371, which carries a maximum penalty of 5 years imprisonment and fines.
COUNT 3: Conflicts of Interest (18 U.S.C. § 208)
10 General Allegations: From approximately March 2025 to January 2029, in the District of Columbia and elsewhere, Bondi, as a public official, knowingly participated in matters in which she had a financial interest, without recusal or divestment, in violation of her duties under federal ethics laws.
11 Specific Acts:
• Between 2019 and 2024, Bondi’s law firm, Bondi & Associates, received $1.2 million in consulting fees from Trump-linked entities, including $250,000 from a client later subject to a DOJ opioid probe dismissed in June 2025, per FEC filings and OGE disclosures.
• On or about April 5, 2025, Bondi participated in DOJ decisions granting antitrust leniency to Florida real estate firms in which she held $500,000 in stock, without disclosing or divesting, as documented in CREW v. DOJ filings.
• On or about October 20, 2025, Bondi met with NRA lobbyists influencing DOJ gun policy, despite prior NRA payments to her firm, per calendar logs and ABA ethics complaints.
12 Violation: By these actions, Bondi violated 18 U.S.C. § 208, which carries a maximum penalty of 7 years imprisonment and fines.
COUNT 4: Making False Statements (18 U.S.C. § 1001)
13 General Allegations: From approximately February 2025 to September 2025, in the District of Columbia, Bondi knowingly and willfully made materially false statements in matters within the jurisdiction of the federal government, namely congressional hearings and ethics disclosures.
14 Specific Acts:
• On or about February 10, 2025, during Senate confirmation hearings, Bondi falsely testified that she had no role in dropping a 2013 Trump University probe as Florida AG, contradicted by 2016 campaign donation records and staff affidavits.
• On or about June 25, 2025, Bondi submitted a DOJ report to Congress claiming all 2025 case dismissals were “merit-based,” despite internal memos revealing political directives, per ProPublica’s July 2025 exposé.
• On or about September 15, 2025, Bondi filed an incomplete OGE Form 278e, omitting $250,000 in payments from a Trump-affiliated client, as uncovered by CLC’s ethics complaint.
15 Violation: By these actions, Bondi violated 18 U.S.C. § 1001, which carries a maximum penalty of 5 years imprisonment per count.
COUNT 5: Misappropriation of Public Funds (18 U.S.C. § 641)
16 General Allegations: From approximately June 2025 to December 2028, in the District of Columbia and elsewhere, Bondi knowingly converted and misapplied federal funds for unauthorized purposes, depriving the United States of their lawful use.
17 Specific Acts:
• On or about July 1, 2025, Bondi authorized $10 million in DOJ funds for an “election defense task force” to conduct partisan audits in Arizona and Georgia, lacking statutory basis, per GAO Audit No. 25-789.
• On or about March 15, 2026, Bondi approved hiring of 20 “special counsels” from Trump 2024 campaign firms at $200,000 each, for tasks unrelated to DOJ priorities, as evidenced by OIG expenditure logs.
• From August 2025 to January 2026, Bondi diverted $2 million from DOJ’s civil rights division to private contractors for “consulting” on border policy, benefiting allies, per whistleblower complaints.
18 Violation: By these actions, Bondi violated 18 U.S.C. § 641, which carries a maximum penalty of 10 years imprisonment and restitution.
PENALTIES AND FORFEITURE
19 Penalties: The maximum penalties for the counts are:
• Count 1: Up to 20 years imprisonment and $250,000 fine.
• Count 2: Up to 5 years imprisonment and $250,000 fine.
• Count 3: Up to 7 years imprisonment and $250,000 fine.
• Count 4: Up to 5 years imprisonment per count (multiple counts possible) and $250,000 fine.
• Count 5: Up to 10 years imprisonment and restitution.
20 Forfeiture: Pursuant to 18 U.S.C. § 981(a)(1)(C) and 28 U.S.C. § 2461(c), Bondi shall forfeit any property, real or personal, derived from proceeds traceable to the offenses, including but not limited to $1.2 million in consulting fees and $500,000 in stock holdings.
JURISDICTION AND VENUE
21 This Court has jurisdiction under 18 U.S.C. § 3231. Venue is proper in the District of Columbia under 18 U.S.C. § 3237, as the offenses were committed in part within this district.
A TRUE BILL
Stateless Warrior Legal DeepARTment
Notes:
My mock indictment is a hypothetical document but it is based on allegations from public sources (e.g., OIG reports, Judiciary Committee subpoenas, CREW v. DOJ filings) as of November 2025, projected to January 21, 2029, the first day after Trump’s second term ends. It assumes escalation of investigations post-tenure, when immunity protections lapse.
• Evidence cited (e.g., emails, memos, affidavits) reflects real-world patterns from 2025 probes but is fictionalized for 2029 context, consistent with your request.
• Defenses may include prosecutorial discretion, qualified immunity, or claims of political motivation. Bondi has denied all allegations.
• Monitor PACER, justice.gov/OIG, and govinfo.gov for real-time developments and this site of mine for my latest bullshit legal drafts!
-Stateless Warrior
“Not well cause every day low, low, I mean two digit IQ low they been terrorizing me by dispersing weaponized chemical agents in aerosol form to keep inducing EXTREME INVOLUNTARY CAUGHING (1400 EQUIVALENT ON SCOVILLE SCALE) so las’ night they got a you’d fuckin DOA notice and what do you know, no chem terrorists to be heard of all day so on my end shit Ian’s done cause now they gotta pay fun’ terrorism they carried out… They been shitting fuckin bricks all day but my foot bout to be shoved up their fuckin filthy asses… And now on to vid comments with my recoiprocity formula at the end of this micro post… As far as Government Muslim employee bitch pitchin me NY relocation: “You’s read’n WAY TOO MUCH into my pooular song “Loco Jews” cause that don’t mean I’m a be luggin a orayer rug to go ass sniffin on Fridays at’chuh local American Mosque which you’z got’n unduh FBI infiltration because Islam has as much fallacy as Mormonism so great Micjey Mouse stories at bedtime, howewer: I bekieve all are free to worship even freaqin sewer rats if they choose to do so and would never interfere with anyones rat worship but back to you’z kidred, I think that Hamas and IDF are eaqually cryel to each other and neither is any better so unless LoCO JEWS AND LOCO HAMAS choose peace, none will be had… As far as you, jus’ cause some Muslims chiose to become governnents in-house sand niggers din’t mean I’m a be joiining them! One ‘o you’z is now a NYC MAYOR ELECT and okans to ooen government gricery stores, nothing new, actualky g-faggit federal pugs do same shit in their military poosie cry baby bases at 30% off retail and their poosie soldier whiner bitches stillnget PTSD, so to each their own but I hope that Jew Niggers and Hamas Niggers choose to stop being sand niggers and be human again! Meanwhile: white cra ker bitches, stop cry’n to me bout Trump, you voted fuh him now you get the Boomerang up yer read cause ghats how econ twerks my dear! YOU VITED AN IDIOT IN, AND NOW YOU EATING THE SOUP YOU COOKED and there’s no reprieve cause both he and Elon $UCK AT MATH cause if he were the whiz he purports him$ELF TO BE, he’d not cave overplayed fuh what was at the time, a lame bitchin platform by 76% so $19 BILKION PI$$ED AWAY LOL! Mathematically, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is being DRIVEN into “DARKNESS” and if I were UOU, I’d get out of the dollar and hedge through real estate if you don’t plan to migrate to Ireland like Rossi O’Donnel because the Government of United Stupid States of America is going BROKE!” Suckers who rely on the government to carry them in old age all get a nasty surprise at the end of their life Journey sort of like (Speaking of g-faggot NYC) their La Guardia AirPORT half of which by 2050 will be under 6 feet of Seawater while the rest of that piece of shit City within 500 years (by my calculations) an underwater enclave where fish ladies and gentlemen, can fuck and onto replenish the Oceans and get even with homosapiens for eating them all the time! Not here to solve ANY OF YOUR PROBLEMS, enjoy your own Garbage and see if you can deport those issue elsewhere lol! If you OWN ANYTHING in NYC, right now if you are an astute
real estate investor, is a great time to sell those problems to someone else before they become a common knowledge cause right now, only extreme brain is a are aware of them…”
Back to video posted herein: no Ai footage alter, REAL VIDEOS FROM REAL PEOPLE who share my views 100%!
For deploying chemical agents against me and carrying out bona fide terrorist attacks against me which I wouldn’t be caught dead not neutralizing so heretofore forthcoming American idiot stalkers solution implement:
Fₐᵥ₉ = (m * v²) / (2 * d)……
How do ya’ll wannuh be remembered after your decease?
____________________________________
(write above and I’ll forward to your next of kin aftuh you’z DOA)
What?
Choose a SIDE?
#TeamCHINA
So… Since I’m clearly batting for the other team way across the Pacific, did you know that I’m keeping close tabs on cunt Kristy Noem hopefully for announcement to charge the bitch the first day Trump is out of power… So far, here’s what I got:
Note; while I have drafted a mock federal docket for Kristi Noem. my fictional document outlines potential federal charges and is set for the first day after the conclusion of the presidential term that began in 2025.
???? United States District Court - Stateless Warrior’s Mock Docket
UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT FOR THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, v. Case No.: 1:29-cr-00001-MOCK KRISTI NOEM, Defendant. VIOLATIONS: 18 U.S.C. §§ 1001, 1341, 242, 1519; 5 U.S.C. app. 4 § 102
???? STATELESS WARRIOR’S “MOCK” DOCKET ENTRIES
01/21/2029 - INDICTMENT filed under seal by the U.S. Department of Justice. Unsealed by court order 01/22/2029. (Filed by AUSA Jane Doe) (Entered: 01/21/2029)
01/21/2029 - ARREST WARRANT issued by Magistrate Judge Robert Smith based upon the Indictment. (Entered: 01/21/2029)
01/22/2029 - NOTICE OF ATTORNEY APPEARANCE: John Smith, Esq. enters appearance as retained counsel for defendant Kristi Noem. (Entered: 01/22/2029)
01/22/2029 - MOTION to Dismiss for Selective Prosecution filed by defendant Kristi Noem. (Smith, John) (Entered: 01/22/2029)
01/22/2029 - ORDER by Chief Justice Elena Martinez: The Government's Motion to Unseal Indictment is GRANTED. The defendant is ordered to appear for an arraignment and plea hearing on 02/05/2029 at 10:00 AM in Courtroom 1. (Entered: 01/22/2029)
⚖️ CHARGES AND ALLEGATIONS
The following table summarizes my draft of potential federal charges outlined in my “mock” indictment, based on her conduct.
Count Alleged Federal Violation Summary of Allegations
1-3 18 U.S.C. § 1001 - False Statements Knowingly making false statements on public financial disclosure forms (OGE Form 278e) by failing to report approximately $80,000 in 2023 income from a political nonprofit to her personal LLC, Ashwood Strategies.
4-6 18 U.S.C. § 1341 - Mail/Wire Fraud Devising a scheme to defraud the public of honest services by funneling political donations for personal enrichment, using wire communications to facilitate transfers.
7-10 18 U.S.C. § 242 - Deprivation of Rights Under Color of Law While acting as Secretary of Homeland Security, unlawfully detaining U.S. citizens during immigration enforcement operations without probable cause, thereby depriving them of their Constitutional rights.
11 18 U.S.C. § 1519 - Destruction/Alteration of Documents Knowingly altering or destroying documents related to internal DHS protocols and training materials for new ICE agents, with the intent to impede an official investigation.
12 5 U.S.C. App. 4 § 102 - Failure to File Report Willfully and knowingly failing to disclose required financial information on an annual public financial disclosure report filed with the Office of Government Ethics.
Get this bitch prison bound and send a message to all others!
If you’re a Citizen, strategize Newsom Presidency YESTERDAY!
No?
Lemme be far more detailed so READ ON MY SLOTHFUL BITCHES, I’m a REDRAFT the while fuckin thing!
1. Deprivation of Rights Under Color of Law (18 U.S.C. § 242)
• Statute Summary: “Whoever, under color of any law… willfully subjects any person… to the deprivation of any rights, privileges, or immunities secured or protected by the Constitution… shall be fined… or imprisoned not more than one year, or both. If… bodily injury results, up to 10 years; if death results, life imprisonment.”
• Core Elements: (1) Acting under color of federal law, (2) willful deprivation of constitutional rights (e.g., due process under 5th/14th Amendments), and (3) causation of harm. “Willful” means knowing violation, not mere negligence.
• Application to Noem: Allegations center on DHS-led “Operation Swift Return,” a 2025 deportation initiative targeting 1.2 million undocumented immigrants, including family separations without hearings. OIG reports (October 2025) cite instances of warrantless detentions at interior checkpoints (e.g., 500+ cases in Texas/Arizona) violating Miranda-like protections and habeas corpus. Evidence includes whistleblower affidavits from ICE agents, video footage of expedited removals bypassing asylum claims, and a 15% spike in reported abuses per UNHCR data. Critics (e.g., ACLU) argue this echoes INS v. Chadha (1983) due process failures; supporters (e.g., Federation for American Immigration Reform) claim it’s lawful enforcement. Penalty: Up to 10 years per count if injury documented (e.g., psychological harm in separations).
• Status: Civil suits ongoing; DOJ review initiated November 2024, pre-appointment, now escalated post-OIG referral.
2. Conspiracy Against Rights (18 U.S.C. § 241)
• Statute Summary: “If two or more persons conspire to injure, oppress, threaten, or intimidate any person… in the free exercise or enjoyment of any right or privilege secured… by the Constitution,” penalties include fines or up to 10 years (life if death results).
• Core Elements: (1) Agreement among conspirators, (2) to violate constitutional rights, and (3) overt acts in furtherance. Broadly applied to coordinated deprivations.
• Application to Noem: Linked to coordination with Trump administration officials (e.g., Stephen Miller as deputy) and state governors for “zero-tolerance 2.0” policies, allegedly conspiring to deny due process to migrants via sham “credible fear” interviews. House Oversight subpoenaed emails (August 2025) showing Noem directing CBP to prioritize “high-volume” removals over individual assessments, resulting in 200+ erroneous deportations of U.S. citizens/residents (per ProPublica investigation). Evidence: Inter-agency memos, Miller-Noem call logs, and detainee testimonies in Florence Immigrant & Refugee Rights Project v. DHS. Bipartisan concern from Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) letters questioning overreach. Penalty: Up to 10 years.
• Status: Referred to DOJ by Oversight Committee (October 2025); parallels Jan. 6 applications.
3. Misappropriation of Public Funds (18 U.S.C. § 641)
• Statute Summary: “Whoever embezzles, steals, purloins, or knowingly converts to his use… any… thing of value of the United States,” faces fines or up to 10 years.
• Core Elements: (1) Knowing conversion of federal property/funds, (2) value over $1,000, and (3) intent to deprive the government. Applies to agency misuse.
• Application to Noem: Probes into reallocating $2.5 billion from FEMA’s Disaster Relief Fund to border security (e.g., wall prototypes in 2025 fiscal year), amid Hurricane Helene recovery delays in Florida/North Carolina. OIG audit (July 2025) flagged unapproved transfers, with Noem’s signature on waivers bypassing congressional appropriations under the Stafford Act. Evidence: Budget memos, FEMA emails protesting diversions leading to 30% slower aid deployment, and contractor invoices for “surge” operations. Ties to her ranch (Noem Ranch LLC received $150K in ag subsidies 2024–2025, per USDA disclosures), raising self-dealing claims if funds indirectly benefited South Dakota ag exports via trade enforcement. Penalty: Up to 10 years + restitution.
• Status: OIG investigation active; GAO report (September 2025) deemed diversions “potentially unlawful.”
4. Obstruction of Justice (18 U.S.C. § 1512(c) and § 1505)
• Statute Summary: § 1512(c): “Whoever corruptly… obstructs, influences, or impedes any official proceeding,” up to 20 years. § 1505: Obstructing congressional inquiries, up to 5 years.
• Core Elements: (1) Corrupt intent, (2) knowledge of proceeding, and (3) obstructive act (e.g., withholding documents).
• Application to Noem: Alleged interference in Oversight Committee probes by directing DHS to classify internal deportation metrics as “national security” exempt from FOIA, and deleting Slack messages on policy directives (per subpoena compliance review, June 2025). Evidence: Redacted responses to 2025 subpoenas, agent testimonies of “stand down” orders during audits, and audio from a July 2025 staff meeting admitting “we can’t let this leak.” Applies to both judicial (e.g., blocking ACLU v. DHS discovery) and legislative proceedings. Penalty: Up to 20 years.
• Status: Contempt referral pending; echoes Fischer v. United States (2024) narrowing but upheld for evidence tampering.
5. Conflicts of Interest (18 U.S.C. § 208)
• Statute Summary: “Whoever… acts as agent… in connection with any matter in which… he has a financial interest,” up to 7 years or fines.
• Core Elements: (1) Participation in a matter affecting personal financial interest, (2) without divestment, and (3) government capacity.
• Application to Noem: Her family’s Noem Ranch LLC holds $5M+ in livestock tied to export markets influenced by DHS Customs and Border Protection (CBP) trade enforcement. 2025 disclosures show unreported meetings with ag lobbyists on tariff exemptions, potentially favoring South Dakota beef amid China trade spats. Evidence: Calendar entries, FEC filings post-appointment, and CREW complaints (May 2025) alleging quid pro quo for relaxed inspections. Penalty: Up to 7 years + disgorgement.
• Status: Office of Government Ethics review (ongoing since February 2025); no recusal filed.
Additional Potential Statutes Under Scrutiny
• Wire Fraud (18 U.S.C. § 1343): If deceptive communications (e.g., falsified border “success” metrics to Congress) used interstate wires. Elements: Scheme to defraud. Penalty: Up to 20 years. Flagged in Oversight hearings.
• Hatch Act Violations (5 U.S.C. § 7321 et seq.): Politicizing DHS for GOP campaigns (e.g., rally appearances in uniform). Civil penalties, but criminal if willful.
• Immigration Smuggling/Encouragement (8 U.S.C. § 1324): If policies indirectly aid traffickers via overwhelmed ports. Unlikely but raised in border NGO suits.
Cumulative exposure could exceed 50 years, though political dynamics (e.g., Trump DOJ control) may delay prosecutions. Bipartisan sources like the Cato Institute critique overreach, while Trump allies (e.g., America First Legal) dismiss as “witch hunts.” Monitor PACER, OIG.gov, and congressional records for updates so the only real prosecutorial venue might exist after Trump is out.
More?
Did you know that if I’m keeping tabs on your law violations tons nothing escapes my keen eye?
How bout Pam Bondi, Trump’s personal Floridian Vendetta Cunt?
Throw the law book at that whore and teach he r about the difference between LAWFUL AND UNLAWFUL CONDUCT while in office as acting AG of United States!
1. Obstruction of Justice (18 U.S.C. § 1503 and § 1512(c))
• Statute Summary: § 1503: “Whoever corruptly… influences, obstructs, or impedes the due administration of justice,” up to 10 years. § 1512(c): Broader obstruction of official proceedings, up to 20 years.
• Core Elements: (1) Intent to obstruct a judicial or investigative process, (2) knowledge of the proceeding, and (3) an overt act (e.g., influencing witnesses or altering documents).
• Application to Bondi: Accusations of directing DOJ to slow-walk or drop investigations into Trump associates, such as the January 2025 memo reassigning Special Counsel Jack Smith’s team from election-related cases to “low-priority” fraud probes. Judiciary Committee subpoenas (May 2025) revealed emails where Bondi allegedly instructed U.S. Attorneys to “deprioritize” probes into 2024 campaign finance irregularities involving Trump PACs. Evidence includes whistleblower memos from career prosecutors, redacted case files showing unexplained dismissals (e.g., Georgia election interference referrals), and testimony from former Mueller team members. Ties to her impeachment role, where she defended Trump’s Ukraine call, now scrutinized for potential witness coaching. Penalty: Up to 20 years.
• Status: OIG probe active since April 2025; parallels Fischer v. United States (2024) but focuses on executive influence.
2. Conspiracy to Defraud the United States (18 U.S.C. § 371)
• Statute Summary: “If two or more persons conspire… to defraud the United States… in any manner,” fines or up to 5 years imprisonment.
• Core Elements: (1) Agreement to impair government functions through deceit, (2) unlawful objective, and (3) overt acts.
• Application to Bondi: Alleged coordination with White House counsel to manipulate DOJ resources for political ends, including a June 2025 directive reallocating $500M from civil rights enforcement to “border security litigation support.” CLC complaints cite inter-agency emails showing Bondi conspiring with DHS Secretary Kristi Noem to fabricate “national security” justifications for dismissing asylum backlog cases, defrauding congressional oversight. Evidence: Leaked Slack threads, budget transfer approvals signed by Bondi, and a 25% drop in DOJ civil rights filings per DOJ stats. Bipartisan flags from Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-IA) on resource misuse. Penalty: Up to 5 years, enhanced if linked to other felonies.
• Status: Referred to OIG by Judiciary Democrats (July 2025); echoes Trump-era applications.
3. Conflicts of Interest and Bribery (18 U.S.C. § 208 and § 201)
• Statute Summary: § 208: Acting in matters with personal financial interest, up to 7 years. § 201: Corruptly demanding/receiving benefits for official acts, up to 15 years.
• Core Elements: For § 208: (1) Financial stake in a matter, (2) failure to recuse. For § 201: (1) Quid pro quo intent.
• Application to Bondi: Her Florida law firm, Bondi & Associates (pre-AG), received $1.2M in consulting fees from Trump-linked entities (2019–2024), including NRA and tobacco PACs during her Trump defense. Post-confirmation, CREW filings allege unreported stock in Florida real estate firms benefiting from DOJ antitrust leniency in 2025 mergers. Evidence: Financial disclosures omitting a $250K payment from a client involved in a dismissed DOJ probe (e.g., opioid litigation echoes), calendar logs of meetings with donors, and ABA ethics review (March 2025) questioning recusal. Potential bribery if fees tied to dropping cases against donors. Penalty: Up to 15 years + fines.
• Status: Office of Government Ethics (OGE) investigation ongoing; Senate Ethics Committee review stalled.
4. Making False Statements (18 U.S.C. § 1001)
• Statute Summary: Knowingly false material statements in federal matters, up to 5 years.
• Core Elements: (1) Falsity, (2) materiality, (3) willfulness in executive/legislative context.
• Application to Bondi: Confirmation hearings featured alleged misrepresentations about her Florida AG handling of Trump University (2013 donation controversy, where she dropped a probe post-NRA gift). In 2025, she testified to Congress that DOJ dismissals were “merit-based,” contradicted by internal memos showing political directives. Evidence: Sworn affidavits from ex-staffers, audio from a February 2025 hearing, and ProPublica reporting on 40+ case shifts. Applies to FOIA responses downplaying politicization. Penalty: Up to 5 years per count.
• Status: Included in Judiciary probe; civil contempt motions in CREW suit.
5. Misuse of Public Funds (18 U.S.C. § 641)
• Statute Summary: Knowingly converting government property/funds for unauthorized use, up to 10 years.
• Core Elements: (1) Intentional misuse, (2) value threshold, (3) deprivation of government benefit.
• Application to Bondi: Scrutiny over $10M DOJ budget for “election defense task force” in 2025, allegedly funding partisan audits in swing states (e.g., Arizona 2024 recounts). OIG preliminary findings (August 2025) highlight unapproved hires of Trump 2024 alumni as “special counsels.” Evidence: Expenditure logs, contractor bids from GOP firms, and FEMA-like diversions criticized in GAO alerts. Penalty: Up to 10 years + restitution.
• Status: GAO audit requested by Rep. Jamie Raskin (D-MD).
Additional Potential Statutes Under Review
• Wire Fraud (18 U.S.C. § 1343): Deceptive emails/schemes to influence probes, up to 20 years. Raised in CLC suits over interstate communications.
• Hatch Act Violations (5 U.S.C. § 7321 et seq.): Using DOJ platform for campaign rhetoric (e.g., CPAC speeches). Primarily civil, but criminal if egregious.
• Perjury (18 U.S.C. § 1621): If hearing testimony proven false, up to 5 years.
Total potential exposure could surpass 50 years, compounded by guidelines, though Trump-era DOJ loyalty may insulate. Diverse voices, from ACLU condemnations to Heritage Foundation defenses of “reform,” frame the debate. Track updates via PACER, justice.gov/OIG, and congressional sites.
And now, her fuckin indictment to teach this bitch that United States Laws are not made rubber and cannot be stretched to suit convicted felons in office:
UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT FOR THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA v. PAMELA JO BONDI Defendant.
Criminal Case No.: [TBD]
INDICTMENT Date: January 21, 2029 <- I dated 21St but 22nd be okay too :-)
The Grand Jury charges:
INTRODUCTION
1 The defendant, Pamela Jo Bondi, served as the United States Attorney General from March 15, 2025, to January 20, 2029, under the administration of President Donald J. Trump. As Attorney General, Bondi was responsible for overseeing the Department of Justice (DOJ), ensuring impartial administration of justice, and upholding federal law.
2 This indictment arises from actions taken by Bondi during her tenure, including the alleged misuse of DOJ resources, obstruction of federal investigations, and conflicts of interest stemming from financial ties to entities connected to the Trump administration. These acts are alleged to have occurred in the District of Columbia and elsewhere, within the jurisdiction of this Court.
3 The charges below are based on evidence gathered by the DOJ Office of Inspector General (OIG), congressional investigations by the House Judiciary Committee, and civil litigation filings, including Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) v. DOJ (D.D.C., Case No. 1:25-cv-01234, filed April 2025).
COUNT 1: Obstruction of Justice (18 U.S.C. § 1512(c)(2))
4 General Allegations: From approximately June 2025 to December 2028, in the District of Columbia and elsewhere, the defendant, Pamela Jo Bondi, did knowingly and corruptly obstruct, influence, and impede official proceedings, namely federal investigations and congressional oversight proceedings, with intent to undermine the due administration of justice.
5 Specific Acts:
◦ On or about June 15, 2025, Bondi issued a DOJ memorandum reassigning Special Counsel Jack Smith’s investigative team from election-related probes to unrelated fraud cases, delaying proceedings in United States v. Trump (D.D.C., Case No. 1:23-cr-00257).
◦ On or about August 10, 2025, Bondi directed U.S. Attorneys to deprioritize campaign finance investigations involving Trump-affiliated PACs, resulting in the dismissal of 12 cases, as evidenced by internal DOJ emails and whistleblower affidavits.
◦ On or about September 20, 2025, Bondi classified DOJ deportation metrics as “national security” information, obstructing discovery in ACLU v. DHS (S.D. Tex., Case No. 4:25-cv-00876) and congressional FOIA requests, per OIG Report No. 25-134.
◦ From October 2025 to March 2026, Bondi ordered the deletion of internal DOJ Slack communications relevant to House Judiciary Committee subpoenas, as confirmed by forensic recovery of metadata.
6 Violation: By these actions, Bondi violated 18 U.S.C. § 1512(c)(2), which carries a maximum penalty of 20 years imprisonment and fines.
COUNT 2: Conspiracy to Defraud the United States (18 U.S.C. § 371)
7 General Allegations: From approximately March 2025 to January 2029, in the District of Columbia and elsewhere, Bondi did knowingly conspire with others, including White House counsel and DHS officials, to defraud the United States by impairing the lawful functions of the DOJ and Congress through deceit and dishonest means.
8 Overt Acts:
◦ On or about July 1, 2025, Bondi coordinated with DHS Secretary Kristi Noem to reallocate $500 million from DOJ civil rights enforcement to “border security litigation,” misrepresenting the funds’ purpose to Congress, per GAO Audit No. 25-789.
◦ On or about November 15, 2025, Bondi approved a DOJ task force budget of $10 million for “election defense” audits targeting Democratic-leaning counties, with no legal predicate, as documented in contractor invoices from GOP-affiliated firms.
◦ On or about February 10, 2026, Bondi and co-conspirators drafted false congressional reports claiming DOJ case dismissals were “merit-based,” contradicted by internal memos obtained via Judiciary Committee subpoenas.
9 Violation: By these actions, Bondi violated 18 U.S.C. § 371, which carries a maximum penalty of 5 years imprisonment and fines.
COUNT 3: Conflicts of Interest (18 U.S.C. § 208)
10 General Allegations: From approximately March 2025 to January 2029, in the District of Columbia and elsewhere, Bondi, as a public official, knowingly participated in matters in which she had a financial interest, without recusal or divestment, in violation of her duties under federal ethics laws.
11 Specific Acts:
• Between 2019 and 2024, Bondi’s law firm, Bondi & Associates, received $1.2 million in consulting fees from Trump-linked entities, including $250,000 from a client later subject to a DOJ opioid probe dismissed in June 2025, per FEC filings and OGE disclosures.
• On or about April 5, 2025, Bondi participated in DOJ decisions granting antitrust leniency to Florida real estate firms in which she held $500,000 in stock, without disclosing or divesting, as documented in CREW v. DOJ filings.
• On or about October 20, 2025, Bondi met with NRA lobbyists influencing DOJ gun policy, despite prior NRA payments to her firm, per calendar logs and ABA ethics complaints.
12 Violation: By these actions, Bondi violated 18 U.S.C. § 208, which carries a maximum penalty of 7 years imprisonment and fines.
COUNT 4: Making False Statements (18 U.S.C. § 1001)
13 General Allegations: From approximately February 2025 to September 2025, in the District of Columbia, Bondi knowingly and willfully made materially false statements in matters within the jurisdiction of the federal government, namely congressional hearings and ethics disclosures.
14 Specific Acts:
• On or about February 10, 2025, during Senate confirmation hearings, Bondi falsely testified that she had no role in dropping a 2013 Trump University probe as Florida AG, contradicted by 2016 campaign donation records and staff affidavits.
• On or about June 25, 2025, Bondi submitted a DOJ report to Congress claiming all 2025 case dismissals were “merit-based,” despite internal memos revealing political directives, per ProPublica’s July 2025 exposé.
• On or about September 15, 2025, Bondi filed an incomplete OGE Form 278e, omitting $250,000 in payments from a Trump-affiliated client, as uncovered by CLC’s ethics complaint.
15 Violation: By these actions, Bondi violated 18 U.S.C. § 1001, which carries a maximum penalty of 5 years imprisonment per count.
COUNT 5: Misappropriation of Public Funds (18 U.S.C. § 641)
16 General Allegations: From approximately June 2025 to December 2028, in the District of Columbia and elsewhere, Bondi knowingly converted and misapplied federal funds for unauthorized purposes, depriving the United States of their lawful use.
17 Specific Acts:
• On or about July 1, 2025, Bondi authorized $10 million in DOJ funds for an “election defense task force” to conduct partisan audits in Arizona and Georgia, lacking statutory basis, per GAO Audit No. 25-789.
• On or about March 15, 2026, Bondi approved hiring of 20 “special counsels” from Trump 2024 campaign firms at $200,000 each, for tasks unrelated to DOJ priorities, as evidenced by OIG expenditure logs.
• From August 2025 to January 2026, Bondi diverted $2 million from DOJ’s civil rights division to private contractors for “consulting” on border policy, benefiting allies, per whistleblower complaints.
18 Violation: By these actions, Bondi violated 18 U.S.C. § 641, which carries a maximum penalty of 10 years imprisonment and restitution.
PENALTIES AND FORFEITURE
19 Penalties: The maximum penalties for the counts are:
• Count 1: Up to 20 years imprisonment and $250,000 fine.
• Count 2: Up to 5 years imprisonment and $250,000 fine.
• Count 3: Up to 7 years imprisonment and $250,000 fine.
• Count 4: Up to 5 years imprisonment per count (multiple counts possible) and $250,000 fine.
• Count 5: Up to 10 years imprisonment and restitution.
20 Forfeiture: Pursuant to 18 U.S.C. § 981(a)(1)(C) and 28 U.S.C. § 2461(c), Bondi shall forfeit any property, real or personal, derived from proceeds traceable to the offenses, including but not limited to $1.2 million in consulting fees and $500,000 in stock holdings.
JURISDICTION AND VENUE
21 This Court has jurisdiction under 18 U.S.C. § 3231. Venue is proper in the District of Columbia under 18 U.S.C. § 3237, as the offenses were committed in part within this district.
A TRUE BILL
Stateless Warrior Legal DeepARTment
Notes:
My mock indictment is a hypothetical document but it is based on allegations from public sources (e.g., OIG reports, Judiciary Committee subpoenas, CREW v. DOJ filings) as of November 2025, projected to January 21, 2029, the first day after Trump’s second term ends. It assumes escalation of investigations post-tenure, when immunity protections lapse.
• Evidence cited (e.g., emails, memos, affidavits) reflects real-world patterns from 2025 probes but is fictionalized for 2029 context, consistent with your request.
• Defenses may include prosecutorial discretion, qualified immunity, or claims of political motivation. Bondi has denied all allegations.
• Monitor PACER, justice.gov/OIG, and govinfo.gov for real-time developments and this site of mine for my latest bullshit legal drafts!
-Stateless Warrior
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