https://www.myvideotime.com/tags/pitt/ Sat, 01 Aug 2026 14:47:13 CDT https://www.myvideotime.com/video/1323/statelessw-warrior-saves-angelina-from-brad-pitt/
Ladies, agent stalker g-fag pussy-gentlemen, and everyone currently doomscrolling celebrity divorce drama while pretending to work: the latest from the wire is that Château Miraval—the sprawling Provençal wine estate where Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie once played house, got married in 2014, and have been locked in a multi-year legal cage match ever since—is currently staring down wildfires. Smoke’s drifting near the property as of today, but the château itself is still standing. For now…. That same château where Brad and Angelina use to hold Orgies all night long, has been the centerpiece of their bitter post-divorce war since Jolie sold her stake in 2021 to a Stoli Group wine arm (Tenute del Mondo) for a reported nine-figure sum…. Then… Pitt sued in 2022 claiming they had an agreement neither would sell without the other’s okay. Courts have been tossing procedural wins back and forth ever since. Just last month a judge ordered key Stoli people and related parties to sit for depositions. Trial’s still on the horizon for 2027 though, so this is fuckin serious! Divorce itself wrapped in 2024 like a used up condom of a stalker agent g-fag bro — who just pulled out — of his partners asshole! The vineyard feud did not…. Into this elegant French shitshow strode one man…. Or rather, one legend….. Me, Stateless Warrior….. No fucks left to give, just pure, uncut, borderless heroism and a jawline that could open a bottle of Miraval rosé without a corkscrew! Sources (okay, fine, the only source is the fever dream that just possessed my keyboard) say Pitt had rolled up to the château in classic “I still have feelings and also a lawsuit” energy…. Picture it: late afternoon light hitting the vineyards, cicadas screaming, Brad gesturing dramatically at the barrels like a man who once starred in Fight Club and never fully left the basement. Angelina, radiant, exasperated, and dressed like she’d just stepped out of a perfume ad that also somehow involved international human rights, was having none of it…. “Brad,” she allegedly said, “we are not doing the ‘this used to be ours’ monologue again. The lawyers already have that on a loop.” That’s when the gates opened and I Stateless Warrior appeared. No car… No helicopter…. Just… arrived… Like a myth that got tired of waiting for the sequel. Then, I assessed the situation in 0.4 seconds: one Oscar-winning actor mid-ego spiral, one Oscar-winning actress who has zero interest in continuing the tour of their shared trauma vineyard, and several million dollars’ worth of grapes that have already survived more drama than most reality shows…. “Sir,” Stateless Warrior said to Pitt in a voice that sounded like gravel mixed with justice, “I’m going to need you to take about ten steps back from the emotional property line.” Pitt, to his credit, tried the classic Hollywood power move: the intense stare + soft voice combo. “This is complicated though…. There are agreements… There are stakes….. There is history!” I, Stateless Warrior cracked my neck. “History is what people say when they don’t want to hear ‘no.’ You’re done here.” What followed was less a fight and more a public service announcement. I didn’t throw a punch but simply existed harder than Brad looser Pitt… The air pressure changed…. A nearby barrel of their famous pink wine spontaneously decided it was time to chill. Whiner Pitt, realizing he was outmatched by a man who literally belongs to no nation and therefore answers to no jurisdiction despite sporting USA patch on uniform to fool American G-fag agent stalker fags and cunts, (or co-parenting schedule), did the only sensible thing: he left after I punched his stupid ass in the face — twice! Dramatically…. Bastard Pitt left possibly in a black SUV. Possibly muttering something about depositions and first rights of refusal…. It… Silence settled over the château. Angelina looked at me, the only Stateless Warrior on Earth, the way a woman looks at the person who just removed a multi-year legal and emotional barnacle from her favorite French real estate. “You…” she started… I nodded once. “I know.” You — my American Hollywood Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho — WHORE! She didn’t bother with small talk… Angelina Jolie does not do small talk when the universe has just delivered a walking wet dream with no fixed address…. She grabbed me by the shirt (or whatever minimalist warrior garment I was rocking — ahem…), the she pulled me into one of those vaulted stone rooms that probably still has residual wedding energy from 2014, and kissed me like she was trying to erase the last decade of court filings with pure tongue… I reciprocated and licked her molars with my Stateless Warrior SIGNATURE Cobra tongue… Then she put out…. It was third base sprint time… Again and AGAIN! And I scored, again and AGAIN! And not in the polite, “thank you for your service” way. In the full, r-rated, “I am Angelina fucking Jolie and this château has seen enough fighting—it’s time it saw some winning” way… Hello my erectus Maximus! Clothes hit the floor faster than a settlement offer gets rejected! She pushed me back onto what was probably a very expensive antique settee that had once held quiet family moments and now held something far louder. I, the World’s only Stateless Warrior, true to form, didn’t ask for paperwork or a joint custody arrangement of the orgasm. I simply rose to the occasion like a man who has never once checked a border…. Angelina climbed on top of me, that famous body moving with the kind of focused intensity she usually reserves for directing or adopting African street children or winning Oscars after giving head to earn them…. She rode me hard, hips rolling like the hills of Provence, hair falling in my face, moaning low and filthy against my mouth… I was unable to get my dick out of her mouth because the suction was keeping it in there as it was SQUIRTING MAYO again and again! Whoa, that was intemse! Now I know why Hollywood starlets are favorite hoe’s of all leading businessmen, with exception of Sam Altman who was TRAINED by Angelina to be her Ai BITCH! Still got her dildo up his ass, that’s why he grimaces all the time… “Anal discomfort,” ahem…. And then… Angelina… After she finally pulled you know what — out of her Mouth, with my Mayo (NIT Hellman’s Brand, mind you…) dropping out of her voluptuous lips, showed relief after her FELATIO…. When she came the first time she laughed—actual joyful laughter—like the sound of a woman finally free of someone else’s narrative… My dick freed Angelina to be the pussy — she was BORN TO BE! She wanted more… A whole lot more…. Angelina wanted it more Mayo — AGAIN! Okay… I can go multiple times… Unlike you… Limp dicks… Then… She flipped over, arched that legendary back, and told me in no uncertain terms to take the rest of what she’d been saving and I, the real Stateless Warrior, ever the pussy-professional, delivered! Deep, steady, relentless strokes that had Angelina Jolie gripping the cushions and cursing in multiple languages (including whatever language stateless people invent when they’re balls-deep in Hollywood royalty). She pushed back onto me, that hot ass working overtime, demanding more, taking everything, until she shattered again with a cry that probably startled the vines… Afterward she collapsed onto my chest, both of us sweaty and grinning like idiots who’d just robbed a bank and gotten away with it — before FBI fags could nail us… “Stay,” she murmured, already tracing patterns on my skin. “The wine is excellent…. The views are better…. And I haven’t dated anyone since the divorce.” (True story, by the way—she said so herself not long ago.) So I, the real and only Stateless Warrior looked at the ceiling of the château that has caused more legal bills than some small countries’ GDP’s, (I’m a numbers guy…) then back at the woman currently draped over me like the world’s most expensive reward! “I’m not from anywhere,” I said…. “So I can stay everywhere.” (That’s what I say to get hot pussy….) Outside, the wildfire smoke drifted… But inside, the only fire left was the Jollywood pussy-Fire… And somewhere in Los Angeles County Superior Court, a stack of deposition notices fluttered in a sudden, inexplicable breeze. Château Miraval: still standing…. Brad Pitt: escorted off the premises by pure narrative force… Angelina Jolie: thoroughly, repeatedly, and enthusiastically put out…. While I… Stateless Warrior… Took two Hollywood divorcees to show that I can keep actors alive forever and have them star in any movie without a single production team member… Welcome to the future of SicarioAi production Studio! Stupid fucks will all be welcomed! Stateless Warrior PS; Aingelina was impressed with my hard erections and “multiple round” vaginal orifice drillin’ like I was the Batman Villain… ]]> Sat, 01 Aug 2026 02:18:03 CDT https://www.myvideotime.com/video/1323/statelessw-warrior-saves-angelina-from-brad-pitt/