https://www.myvideotime.com/tags/irs/ Sun, 05 Apr 2026 15:36:18 CDT https://www.myvideotime.com/video/1132/irs-agent-kills-wife/
Notice of Deficiency in Sanity: IRS Agent’s Attempted Spousal Disallowance Ruled “Grossly Unreasonable” By Your Friendly Neighborhood Tax Satirist “STATELESS WARRIOR” American Internal Revenue Service (Satanic Entity to many Americans…) has issued a Revenue Ruling 2025-IRS-Are-You-Serious that the following individual’s actions constitute a willful neglect of marital duties and a frivolous return on human decency…. I want you to right now on MyVideoTime.com meet Brendan Banfield, a former American IRS criminal investigator. That’s right—a man who once put people in prison for failing to report $500 in side-hustle income decided that the best way to handle his own marriage was to treat his wife like a disallowed dependent… Totally Federal Agent shit for brains for sure! Let me walk through his Schedule M (Murder) , line by line right here on my MyVideoTime.com site personal channel… Homicide PLOT Part I: “The Exemption Withdrawal” Most couples who grow apart file for divorce. That’s AmeriKan Form 8958 (Allocation of Marital Assets). It’s boring. It involves lawyers… It costs mucho money…. Brendan, ever the tax strategist, chose a different path: American IRS Form 706 (U.S. Estate Tax Return) filed proactively. Because why split assets 50/50 when you can inherit 100% via a well-placed knife? His accomplice? Juliana Peres Magalhães, the family’s Brazilian au pair… Personal fuck buddy… Normally, an au pair is claimed as a non-dependent household employee under Schedule H (Household Employment Taxes). But Brendan decided to treat her as a business asset under Section 179 (Immediate Expensing) —because nothing says “accelerated depreciation” like fucking the nanny while your wife is upstairs — unaware! My sarcasm break: I’m sure the IRS training manual has a chapter titled “Ethics in Field Work” that includes the subheading “Don’t Plot Spousal Homicide With Your Foreign Domestic Worker.” Then again, they probably also have a chapter on ““How to Ruin a Small Business Over a Miscalculated Mileage Deduction,”” so maybe their priorities are just… different. Homicide PLOT Part II: The “Rape Fantasy” Schedule C – Business or Hobby? In Nevada, there is a pussy — pardon my filthy fuckin Stateless Warrior mouth! Meant to say; “Vaginal ORIFICE” use tax on books so STATE.gov can make dinero off fuckin hookers — but only ousside Las Vegas City Limits… But here’s where the Brendan’s deduction gets creative… Brendan and Juliana allegedly created a fake online profile in his wife’s name on a fetish website, inviting a stranger named Joseph Ryan to come over for a “knife-wielding rape fantasy.” “Let me translate that into fuckin U.S. tax code:” Gross Receipts: “One confused stranger with a knife!” Cost of Goods Sold: One 4-year-old daughter temporarily relocated to basement (zero depreciation allowed on children, by the way). Advertising Expenses: Catfishing on a kink forum. (Disallowed under Section 280E – illegal activities. Yes, even the IRS knows this is too dirty.) Total Murder Plot Expenses: Priceless… In TWISTED IRS Agents mind… IRS Agent’s plan? He would shoot Joseph Ryan (the stranger), then stab his own wife, staging the double homicide scene to look like he was the hero who saved her.. Then local PD responds, sees his federal badge, falls for it like suckers — according to his plan… Of course, he’d claim self-defense, collect the life insurance (tax-free under Section 101(a) —ironically), and ride off into the Brazilian sunset with Juliana… Unusual? Nah, cause in USA life insurance based proceeds from half a million and up is enuf to have you whacked this way but Americanos who pull it off favor vehicular accident staging ie; veered off a cliff etc… My sarcasm break again; You have to admire the tax planning. If it had worked, he wouldn’t owe a dime on that insurance payout. Meanwhile, you and I are out here paying 22% on our bonuses like schmucks… Hey, why aren’t you an IRA Agents? Augh, you don’t wannuh write off your wife? How noble! Homicide PLOT Part III: “The Execution” (Pun Intended) On February 24, 2023 (peak tax season in American land – more on that later), the plan went live… Joseph Ryan showed up… Knife in hand…. Confused but committed…. Brendan shot him. Didn’t die! Juliana shot him again… Did die! Brendan stabbed his wife… Did die! Then he called 911 and gave a performance so unconvincing that even a first-year IRS auditor would flag it for “inconsistencies between reported facts and bank records.” So… The… Result: Brendan convicted of aggravated murder. Juliana got 10 years… The 4-year-old daughter? She’s now the sole beneficiary of a trust fund called “$TUPID FUCK IRS AGENT daddy made really bad Life Choices.” Homicide PLOT Part IV: “The Statute of Limitations on Sanity – Meet Stephen Paddock” (IRS Alum, Class of ’97) Now, you might think Brendan is a one-off... A statistical anomaly or a rounding error in the grand table of IRS employee conduct. Oh, you sweet summer child! Let me introduce you to Stephen Paddock, the man who committed the deadliest mass shooting in modern U.S. history. On October 1, 2017, he opened fire from the 32nd floor of the Mandalay Bay Casino into a crowd of 22,000 country music fans, killing 60 and wounding hundreds, and I mean HUNDREDS!! Guess what Paddock did for a living before retiring? Go on — Guess? Former IRS agent…. That’s right… The IRS has now produced two high-profile murderers so at what point does this stop being a coincidence and start being a statistically significant pattern requiring a Form 1139 (Corporate Estimated Tax – I mean, Corporate Psych Evaluation)? Just wondering? Homicide PLOT Part V: “The Hilarious Date Comparison” (IRS Fiscal Year Edition) Here’s where the sarcasm reaches Section 6662 (Accuracy-Related Penalty) levels of absurdity… Crime #1: Stephen Paddock – October 1, 2017 October 1 is the first day of the federal fiscal year. It’s the day the IRS’s books open. It’s a day of hope, new budgets, and fresh audit targets… Paddock chose this sacred day to open fire on a country music festival. You cannot make this up! It’s like he was saying, “Happy New Fiscal Year, America! Here’s your 60-day notice of deficiency… in life.” My sarcasm break — again and AGAIN; Imagine the performance review. “Stephen, your audit closure rate was excellent, but your ‘mass casualty event’ score could use improvement. Also, HR received a complaint about your 32nd-floor hotel room noise.” Crime #2: Brendan Banfield – February 24, 2023 February 24 falls smack in the middle of tax season. It’s the time when every IRS agent is drowning in W-2’s, 1099’s, and extension requests... It’s the time when normal people cry into their “TurboTax.” Brendan chose this day to stab his wife... Yet another sarcasm break: Can you blame him? Have you ever tried to audit a small business owner who claims their dog as a dependent while simultaneously fielding calls from a Brazilian au pair who wants to “discuss the future”? Tax season stress is real, folks! I’m not saying murder is the answer. I’m just saying… have you seen the penalty for late filing of “Form 3520?” It’s enough to make anyone homicidal… Hey… Come here so I can fuckin WHACK YOU just for the hell if filing some IRS forms… Homicide PLOT Part VI: “MY Comical Parallels” (Now Without Tables, Because Tables Are for Schedule D) Let’s compare our two favorite IRS alumni side by side in glorious bullet-point format. Stephen Paddock – The Mandalay Bay Auditor · Former IRS agent (retired). · Date of crime: October 1 – first day of fiscal year. · Weapon: 23 guns with bump stocks. · Target: 22,000 country music fans. · Accomplice: None (loner – didn’t even bring an au pair). · IRS form equivalent: Form 1040-ES (Estimated Tax for Mass Murder). · Likely excuse: “I was stressed about my 401(k) rollover.” · Current status: Deceased (self-inflicted, presumably to avoid an audit). Brendan Banfield – “The Suburban IRS AGENT Stabber” · Former IRS criminal investigator. · Date of crime: February 24 – mid-tax season. · Weapon: One knife, plus one Brazilian au pair, plus one confused stranger. · Target: One wife (plus collateral damage). · Accomplice: Juliana (Schedule H dependent, but make it sexy). · IRS form equivalent: Form 8275 (Disclosure of Inconsistent Position – as in, “My position on marriage has become inconsistent with my desire to live”). · Likely excuse: “She took the home office deduction incorrectly.” · Current status: Convicted, awaiting sentencing. Would you hire either of them? Only if you need an audit of the afterlife, or if you want a dependent exemption removed permanently. Homicide PLOT Part VII: “My Final Sarcastic Advice to AmeriKan Taxpayers” If you receive a letter from the IRS that begins: “Dear Taxpayer, after reviewing your return, we have determined that your spouse may be subject to a disallowance under Section 162 (Ordinary and Necessary Business Expenses)…” Run! AND FUCKIN RUN! Not because of the tax debt… Because the agent who signed that letter might be having a really bad tax season and his au pair just texted him a winky face… And remember: The IRS may not have a sense of humor, but you should. Because if you ever find yourself comparing your marriage to a Form 706, it’s time to call a divorce attorney, not a fetish website…. *STATELESS WARRIOR Disclaimer: This article is satire. The IRS does not actually train its employees to commit felonies. However, if you are an IRS agent reading this, please know that we see you. And we’re filing Form 211 (Application for Award for Original Information) if you so much as look at a knife. Meanwhile; Stay compliant, stay alive, and for the love of all that is holy, use a professional matchmaker, not a catfishing account! Moral of this true story? “Filing status error: You claimed ‘Agent of the Good’ but your Schedule C clearly shows ‘Agent of Evil.’ Please amend or face penalties.” Hey… “Did you file your taxes yet or are g-fag agent going to to be busting your fuckin door down — again and AGAIN?” Stateless WARRIOR ]]> Sat, 04 Apr 2026 23:01:05 CDT https://www.myvideotime.com/video/1132/irs-agent-kills-wife/